just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
