Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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