why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
