is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
this hospital has no fireball
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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