Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
