forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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