When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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