she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
