Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
