My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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