i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
