Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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