Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
