these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
