We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
