it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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