so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
