definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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