can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
