So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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