Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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