I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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