you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
