i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
