I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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