I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
