Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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