No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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