She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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