If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
