Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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