that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize