I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
