You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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