There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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