idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
