Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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