I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
