Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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