you would pick up someone in the library
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
