I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
