Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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