I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Of course I have a pirate flag
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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