after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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