She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
