Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
