You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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