Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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