Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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