Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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