a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
