What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
