just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
