He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
