3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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