The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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