i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
