We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
They have beer where we have blood.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
