She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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