I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize