So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
