obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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