Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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