...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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