Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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