My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
