sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
