I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Two words: nipple clamps
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