A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Randomize
