It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize