And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
