Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
