He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
