He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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