I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We got so high we made milksteak
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
