It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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